“Pain is neither unbearable nor unending, as long as you keep in mind its limits and don’t magnify them in your imagination.” – Marcus Aurelius
Today, I am in pain for a mistake. While I recognize that my mistake is not something that will kill me but rather it is more of an embarrassment, I found my palms cold because of nervousness.
I found myself overthinking and panicking as soon as I learned of my mistake. I became aware of it quickly and retreated into a quiet room in our home. There, I stayed for an hour and listened to music. At the same time, I opened the window and watched the sky. That is when I saw the yellow-orange lining.
I found some clarity. First, looking at the sky reminded me that I am just a small speck of dust here on Earth. It made smile because it means that I should not dwell so much on embarrassments and failures- on unnecessary things. I should focus more on what I can learn, what more can I do, and doing things I enjoy.
Second, embarrasment and pain means that I am doing something new. It means that I am doing something out of my comfort zone and that thought alone gave me joy. I am walking towards growth.
Lastly, at the end of the day, you decided whether that single moment will determine your whole day or not. Then, I remember that earlier in the morning, I completed a short story about war on drugs– something that is bugging my mind for days now. I finally wrote it and accomplished it after focusing on it for almost 4 hours! My embarrassment dissipated and instead, the joy of having created something filled me up. The embarrassment I felt seemed so small. Because I did the work. I did something that I love.
In your everyday, I hope you find your yellow-orange lining too. Your feelings are valid and you are allowed to feel it. However, be careful and make sure the pain do not blew out of proportion.
Written: Oct 2
Posted: Oct 5