So I’ve Read All These Quotes, What’s Next?

I have been reading quotes frequently through my commonplace notebooks because I need a reminder. I might get lost along the way and I need guidance and wisdom to find myself again.

I’ve experienced a rough patch during the last weeks of 2020 and I don’t think I would be here, standing strong, if it weren’t for the wisdom from the people I wrote in my commonplace book.

“…be ready to meet your responsibilities like a hero. Because whatever tomorrow brings, major or minor, it will be what you’ve been training for. Responding to what life throws at us—that’s what this philosophy is about.” —From Daily Stoics email, “Life Will Go On. What’s Your Plan?”

Having this conclusion makes me trust myself more that whatever tomorrow might bring, I would be able to overcome it because I’ve been training for it. I have to do the work.

This is also why I work really hard on my personal growth. At the end of the day, its not my circumstances, what I am facing, or what I am working on that matters, its how I respond.

I cannot control my loved ones. I cannot control what and how many academic works will be given to me. I cannot control how my professor will perceive my works. I cannot control how the audience will interpret my writings.

But what I can control is me— how I respond to them and how I do my work. I am training everyday learning how to respond, reading the words of other people so I know how I can act in my own life, applying what I’ve studied every day, and practicing it again in another day.

“Let’s face it … people and events are going to continue to both hurt and disappoint you. Among the people will be those you most love, as well as those you least know. Seldom is it their intent to purposely hurt you, but rather, a variety of situations mostly beyond your control will cause them to act, speak, or think in ways which can have an adverse effect upon you, your present feelings and emotions, and the way your life upholds. It has been this way through six thousand years of recorded history, and your hurt or grief is not the first time a human has been deeply hurt by the inappropriate actions of another.

The only way to avoid being touched by life––the good as well as the bad––is to withdraw from society, and even then you will disappoint yourself, and your imagining about what is going on out there will haunt you and hurt you. Knowing this, there is but one solution that will support you when people and events hurt you, and that is to learn to work harder on your personal growth than anything else. Since you cannot control the weather, or the traffic, or the one you love, or your neighbors, or your boss, then you must learn to control you … the one whose response to the difficulties of life really counts.” – Jim Rohn

Noticing: Plumbing-Related Objects In Our Home

You may noticed that the kitchen sink and lavatory both have p-traps underneath, instead of just a straight one. The purpose of these p-traps is to block the smell. If these pipes are just straight ahead, the smell of the discharged liquid will continue to come out of the drain of the sink/lavatory. Hence by curving the tubes, it will block the smell from coming out of the drain.

Also you may have noticed that the p-trap in the lavatory has a little circular on its curved area which is called cleanout. The purpose of a cleanout is—from its name—to clean the tubes. A brush can fit through the area and through that, you can scrub the insides of the tube.

But in kitchen sinks and lavatories, cleanout has another purpose—to obtain an object that fell of the drain. This is another reason why p-traps are important. In case that something valuable fell of the drain (such as ring or earrings) it does not directly go to the septic tank or sewer line or cause problems inside the drainage system, it will end up in the curved part of the p-trap and you can obtain it through the cleanout.

What is commonly known is bidet is actually shutoff spray (though the shutoff spray has almost the same function as the real bidet). Then there is the faucet, floor drain, and water closet (aka toilet!).

I am currently learning more pumbling-related concepts (it is super interesting!!!) and if there is anything that you would like to add or correct from this post, please feel free to comment. I still have a lot more to learn and any new information would be great!

Hopefully this post will encourage you to notice things around your home too!

Sunday Wisdoms #1

Hello, this is Sunday Wisdoms! Every week for 52 weeks, I’ll share 5 quotes from my commonplace book. Occasionally, there will be ideas from me too. Take what you can get. Your mileage may vary.

This is Week 1 out of 52.

Author Saint-Exupéry:

l’essential est invisible pour les yeux. (What is essential is invisible to the eyes.)

Author James Clear:

It will never feel like the right time. Do not wait for someone to give you permission to begin. Nobody is going to top you, nominate you, appoint you, or choose you and say, “Now, it’s time to start.”

Ralph Marston:

What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.

Srivinas Rao, The Art of Being Unmistakable:

Worrying about what other people think is a jail of our own creation, the irony of it is those people are in the same jail with us.

Tom Kelley and David Kelley, Creative Confidence:

Start with a growth mindset, the deep-seated belief that your true potential is still unknown. That you are not limited to what you have been able to do before.

On Reading Year-End Posts

Recently, I have been reading year-end posts of the people that I follow but one post that tugged my heart the most was a post where she narrated her downfall, how she spent a lot of time feeling like a fraud after, and how did she overcome it.

As I read her post, I immediately had so much appreciation to her. I had read posts that 2020 hadn’t been a “good” year for them (I mean the year has brought both good and bad) but it takes courage to be vulnerable and share how you struggled the past year how you reacted to them.

Her post made me remember what happened around this time, last year.

I was with my community and each one of us talked about what we have learned for the year 2019.

What I talked about was how happy I am because I grew so much because of my responsibility as a class president during my 12th grade and I am also happy that my classmates and professors acknowledged my efforts.

Then come our graduation, when everyone is happy (including me) that high school has offically ended and we are now going to college! However, after that, my parents came to talk to me how disappointed they were that I haven’t achieved any academic achievements that year.

It broke my heart. Because I thought they knew how much that experience mean to me. I haven’t even thinking about external achievements because I am just so happy how tremendously improved that year and did things outside of my comfort zone to be of service for others. The responsibilities that I took shaped me and will help me on the long run.

I thought they would also be happy for me that I improved well in terms of personal growth. But instead, they looked for external achievements. As if my experience that I had because of my chosen responsibility is neither enough nor better than an external achievement.

I had a responsibility to my classmates, but that did not made me slack off my academics. I studied but still, my priority is my responsibility. My grades aren’t “barely passed”, if you are asking, I think—considering that I got a lot of responsibility during that time—my grades are great.

Honestly, I felt like a fraud. It made me question my beliefs as well.

Before the first day of my last year in high school started, I declared to myself that I’ll focus on personal growth and being of service to others. For years, I focused on academics and getting academic awards but they barely made a difference in my life. I get excited and happy but after a few moments, I’m back to what I feel initially before I had the award. And so, I declared to prioritize responsibility, experience, and growth.

And how my parents reacted made me question whether I should just stop seeking growth for myself and volunteering just so I could focus a lot on getting external achievements. But that did not made me happy. I was not satisfied. A medal does not comfort me on nights when I feel like sad but a memory of a certain experience does.

After all my efforts, my growth, my improvements, is it still not enough?

As I am writing this, I can still feel pain from the memory on how I cried that my parents can’t see how much I had improved because what they want is an external achievement from me.

But, thankfully, I calmed myself and think about the experiences that would never occur to me if I did not volunteer as a class president and what I learned or the relationships that I gained because of that experience. Gradually, it made me feel joy and that’s when I realize that even if they are my loved ones, I can’t control their reaction, and their expectations. Even if this are my beliefs and this is what I want to do that does not guarantee that my loved ones will support me or even be proud of me for it.

From my experience that year, I learned that responsibilities change me a lot and so, I took it as an account to look for avenues wherein I will improve and also, I would have fun while doing it. As Albert Einstein wrote in a letter for his son, “That is the way to learn the most, that when you are doing something with such enjoyment that you don’t notice that the time passes.

I never did try to argue with my parents because like I said, their beliefs are not within my area of control and I would continue hurting if I did care something that isn’t in my control anymore.

As for me, the fact that I am fully aware and without a single doubt, on what my personal values are and how my experiences enriched my life, no one can possibly tell me that they are unimportant or that I should have done more or be more because I believe that I have done what I could. I am enough.

And to people reading this, you had made it to this year, 2021. Even if you think that you haven’t have any “achievements” this year that is worthy for a lengthy year-end post or an external award, consider this quote from author Ann Hastings:

Satisfaction is always available. It is just not always looked for. If, when you enter any experience, you enter with curiousity, respect and interest, you will emerge enriched and with awareness you have been enriched. Awareness of enrichment is what satisfaction is.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and I also believe that 2020 was not a wasted year. You cannot control what other people says but you alone can find joy on what enriched you the past year. Whether its an obstacle or a victory, every experience enriched you (probably a lot more enriched if its the former).